Not For the Faint of Heart...

Twice this week already I have been asked, incredulously, how I do it. How do I do a long distance relationship? And not one in which we're separated by a "mere" 8 hours in a car, we're separated by like 6 country boarders, by a 6 hour plane ride, by a time zone.

That question is normally followed promptly by why?

I think it is interesting that both people who asked me, no doubt thinking to themselves, "there is no way I'd do it," were woman. I say this is interesting because I've always thought woman were more open to long distance relationships, lets just call them LDRs for convenience sake. Of course that's not entirely fair, since for every woman in an LDR there is more than likely a guy on the other end of it, so maybe I should give the male gender more credit...anyway, back to my point.

My response to this question so far has always been "it's hard, but..." and then my voice trails off. But what? But it's worth it? But we're managing? Why do I even say "it's hard." Isn't that pretty much implied in the name? Who would ever want to go through an LDR, anyway?

Truth be told it isn't nearly as hard as I always imagined it would be. And I think that's because when you know it's the right person, even if you're a million miles away, it just feels...right.

I imagine if you're one of those people who knew me during my years at Mars Hill, when I was pretty much the biggest cynic known to man when it came to love and a relationship, let alone an LDR, you're probably wondering what happened to me.

My answer to you is: Mr. Right.

So how and why do I do it? I do it always thinking of the end to this madness, that day when we're finally together in the same country, when I finally get my fairy-take ending.

I do it thinking of his smile when he sees me for the first time in months at the airport.

I do it because every time he hugs me I still get butterflies in my stomach. Because when I think of having a family, I think of him, and a beautiful little Latina girl with long brown (red?) hair.

I do it because every time I think about him, I catch myself smiling. Because when I look at a picture of us together, I can still feel the warmth of his arms around me (that sounded very Jodi Picoult of me...).

I do it because even now, after an entire year of being apart, he still finishes a conversation over Skype with "hablamos mañana fijo," we'll talk tomorrow definitely. I know we'll talk tomorrow, sweetie, that goes without saying. I guess I just find this cute.

I do it because not a day goes by that he doesn't tell me I'm beautiful.

I do it because being with him makes me a better person. Because when I'm with him I'm not as impatient, or angry, or pessimistic. I do it because after being with him for just a few months, I had less road rage (true story, and then of course I reverted back to my old self after a few months apart).

I do it thinking of all the fun baking I can do for him and knowing he will never getting tired of eating dessert.

I do it because I know he would do anything for me, including giving up his life in Costa Rica to be with me here in the USA, which is more than I can say for myself. I do it because I know there is no one on this planet who could ever love me as much as he does.

I do it thinking of all free tennis lessons (and awesome tennis gear) I'll have for the rest of my life (come on, I had to add this one in here!)

I do it because I know he deserves more than me, but he chose me anyway. I do it because after God brought my soul mate into my life, I'd be an idiot to let something so small as distance get between us.

I truly have been blessed to have my Rolito in my life. At some point, every couple goes through a hard time, and I like to think that this is ours. Once we make it through it will be smooth sailing!

Te amo mi amor! Para siempre!

The Conclusions I Draw

Today I had a brilliant epiphany, which I shared with everyone on Facebook, but that I feel deserves a more in depth look at what brought about this realization.

My epiphany: I need a personal driver.

Now, before I begin I would like to mention, that up until this point, I’ve been doing very well with my New Year’s Resolution to be more optimistic. My complaining has been kept to a minimum (at least the complaining I do out loud) and after 19 days of taking everything in stride, I decided to give myself a break. A hiatus, as you will, from my resolution to bitch for just a moment about, you guessed it, idiot drivers.

I would like to begin by saying: I completely understand how people can get to the point that they pull out a gun and shoot someone on the highway. If you don’t, my question to you is, have you ever driven in North Carolina?

The 15 minutes I spend driving from home to work in the morning sets my mood for the entire day, and week if it’s a Monday. Most of you know me as a hot head, a stereotypical redhead with a short fuse. Put me in a car and that fuse becomes even shorter.

Things that especially annoy me:

1. Drivers slamming on their breaks for no apparent reason. It’s as if they’re thinking, “I’m bored, let me play a game with the driver behind me. I’m going to slam my breaks and see if they’re paying attention.” Screech! Psych! “Hahaha!”
2. People driving speed limit when EVERYONE else around them is going 5 or 10 over. Its not illegal if EVERYONE is doing it people! [Okay, maybe that is only my interpretation of it, but seriously, if everyone is doing 55 in a 45 which car is the police going to stop?] None, except maybe yours, idiot, for pissing everyone around you off.
3. Drivers that STOP at a YIELD when there are NO ONCOMING CARS. If it were meant to be a place of stopping, the sign would say STOP, and it wouldn’t be a triangle, it would be an octagon, and then you’d see EVERYONE stopping at it. And I mean, come on, if there is a special lane for you to drive into without harming any other car around you, why on earth would you stop? Please, please, explain this to me so that I may understand what goes through you mind as you sit there.
4. Cars running red lights. I have lived in who knows how many cities in my 27 years (almost) of existence, and I can honestly say, I have NEVER experienced it quite like here in Greensboro. There are 3 or 4 stoplights that are run by at least 3 consecutive cars once it has ALREADY gone red. Where are the cops when you need them?
5. Drivers that see a police car and slow down so that they never overtake him. News flash: It’s not illegal to overtake a policeman. I bet they’re even a little impressed when they find someone with enough nerve to do it.
6. Drivers that fly by you, move over into your lane, THEN SLOW DOWN. Don’t get me started on this. I’m already angry just thinking about it.
7. Slow drivers in my lane. Um… I mean… in the left hand lane. Hell, it may as well be my lane, the only time I drive in one of the other lanes is to overtake the slow idiot in front of me in the fast lane!

Quite a long list, isn’t it? And therefore, my epiphany: If I were in the back seat of the car, not paying attention to the idiocracies going on in the roadways around me, would I get so angry? Would I be yelling at the top of my lungs after only 5 minutes of leaving my house? Would my entire day be ruined because it started off on the wrong foot?

Patience is a virtue. A virtue I do not possess on my best of days and a virtue I have no conception of when I’m behind the wheel of a car.

Now, only to make enough money to hire a driver to chauffer me around the city. I wonder, does the cool black car with the tinted windows come standard with the driver, or do I need to get my own one of those too? :-P

Keeping the Faith...

So, in keeping with my New Year’s Resolution—I’m going to be honest, it hasn’t been very easy so far, I always automatically revert to negativity—I decided to make a list of all the things I’m looking forward to this year. I’m hoping to reach at least 5 (hey, I may be starting small, but at least I’m starting).

1. Turning 27. I have said it time and time again, for me age 25 was perfect. I had an amazing year, accomplished so much, had lots of fun, graduated from the Master’s program, met my amazing boyfriend, made friends, realized it was time to lose certain friends, and finally accepted change as a good thing. Then I turned 26 hoping for the same sort of year, and well, it was really just mediocre. Sure, I got a job, but I moved 3000+ miles away from my family. Yes I got closer to my sister and best girlfriends, but I see them so sporadically it was hardly worth the long trip. Age 26 has been an amazing year for reconnecting with my sister, though, but I am not sad to see it go. Here’s to hoping 27 is the best year so far!

2. Finally being with Rolando again. So far it has been one full year that Rolito and I have been apart, and I’ve felt every day of it. This year, though, is the year the waiting ends, and we can finally be together here in the US. It won’t be until later this year, first we have to figure out visa stuff, but I am confident that this is the year I can finally say, “It was all worth it!”

3. Traveling somewhere new. I have the travel bug again (shocker) and I’m hoping this year takes me somewhere new, although it probably won’t be somewhere exotic. I am thinking of taking a trip to Chicago, hopefully during football season to see my Bears in action. I have been hoping to go to Chicago for years now, and I think this year might just be my year. On a side note, I flew over Soldier field this past December when I stopped in O’Hare on my way to Santa Ana, California. It was amazing. I haven’t seen the city from the ground yet but from the air it is spectacular!

4. Spending more time with my lil’ sister. Since I’ve moved back to North Carolina, Adrienne is the only family I have close by, and she is one and a half hours away in Charlotte. So far I’ve gotten to see her plenty, and I hope this year is no different. Although we didn’t get along too well when we were younger, even 3 years ago we constantly bickered when we were with each other, it seems we have both matured, and having each other while we are so far away from everyone else is a blessing. We had a great weekend together this past weekend. We just lazed around watching TV and we didn’t fight even once. She hopes to maybe even move to Greensboro by the end of the year, so fingers crossed!

5. I’m struggling with this one. I’ve been staring at this page for about 5 minutes now, re-reading the above, hoping number 5 will come to me, but still…nothing. Oh here it is, Learning Italian. For a while now I have been hoping to start learning another language. I started out last year trying to teach myself Portuguese, but I missed not being in a class setting. After researching some places here I found a Community College that gives Italian for a very fair price, so I though, why not? It is close enough to Spanish to either be easy to learn, or hopelessly confuse me (same issue I was having with Portuguese lol). I haven’t yet made plans to start, I need to call the College and sign up, but I’m hoping to learn a bit this year, so that when I do finally make it to Italy, I’ll be able to at least order coffee (or dessert) in their language!

And there you have it! 5 things I’m looking forward to in 2012. Wow, that felt weird writing. If I think of any more, I will continue to update my list, and hopefully by the end of the year I’ll have stories to share about each one!