T minus 3 days...

It never ceases to suprise me how quickly time goes by. When did a 24 hour day cease to be 24 hours? Or a 7 day week, 7 days? After a fairly lengthy trip to the States to visit my friends and family I have returned to Costa Rica to begin semester dos of my Master's degree. I'm a little suprised at how my feelings have changed in the past 26 days since leaving, or for that matter for the past year and a half since I first left in December of 2007. I was in love with the country and all I could think about was coming back, for whatever reason. As luck had it (and maybe I shouldn't call it luck because I have zero luck) but I found the exact Master's degree I wanted to do at the same university I had studied at in 2007 but for about $10,000 cheaper (an exaggeration? I think not). I had Costa Rica in my system and I wouldn't be happy until it was out. That being said I don't think I ever really had the intention of staying here permanently. Yes, part of me could live here, but the other part is way too in love with San Diego...I first need to get THAT out of my system.

I'm a wonderer. Well, and a wanderer. I get bored in one place for too long and begin to wonder what living in another place would be like. I get urges to pack up and discover something new. There is one downside to this of course, I have to leave everything or everyone I have for the unknown. Everytime I go home now, leaving becomes that much harder. I cannot express how much love and respect I have for my best girl friends, but its not even them I am truly upset over leaving. I guess in our hearts we all knew we would go our seperate ways after college, and even though we're seperated by long periods and even longer distances when we see each other it is as if we were together all our lives. What really upsets me is leaving Mom and Gus, my black lab. I become plagued with guilt, he doesn't know what is happening. He doesn't understand where I'm going, only that I'm abandoning him again. Whenever I pack bags he knows its coming, and it breaks my heart. He is older now, and I wonder what if I'm not there for him when he becomes sick...what if I miss him...I'm not generally such a depressed thinker, but it has been so lately.

Maybe its the lack of caffeine. I have been ordered by my doctor to lay off of caffeine and chocolate until at least December, and it is killing me. I tried going cold turkey, but the headaches that ensued were too much to handle, so I got back on the juice and am trying to quit slowly...for now only one cup in the morning, next week, I'll mix regular and decaf, then only decaf? What is the point of drinking coffee sans caffeine? But I like the taste...its habit...its...comfort. It makes waking up at 5:30am on a Saturday for class just that much bearable...for that matter it makes waking up at 7:30am for no reason every other day of the week that much manageable.

Today I woke up at 7:30am annoyed by the sound of running water coming from the laundry room of the house next door. The splatter of the water on the concrete steps sends shivers down my spine. Instead of immediately turning on the TV to ESPN en español I decided to go for a run...I mean if I'm up that early I might as well make hay while the sun shines. To my disgust it was not a good run. The fact that I'm practically living on a mountain did not help out in the lung capacity area, and after going only about 800kms I was dead. Not to mention the amount of work traffic at that time of the morning made crossing streets a difficult tast. I wonder how much it would cost to buy a treadmill? I mean I have a spare bedroom, not to mention ridiculous amounts of space in the living/dining room. After only about 10 minutes out on the road I decided to return home for breakfast. I did some pushups and situps and am now devouring an egg on toast. Although totally unimpressed by my performance I'll go out again tomorrow...because the only way to get better is to continue doing it.

I don't have much else planned for today. I trip to the bank to pay the rent. A trip to the school that has offered me the much needed job. A trip to buy curtains since it freaks me out that one can easily see into my livingroom at night. Classes begin on Friday so at some point I should invest in some supplies. It all feels so surreal really, as if I'm still in California with the dream of returning to continue my education. As if I had never left at the beginning of July. As if one day I'll wake up and realize it has all just been one long, unorganized dream.

My vacation from my vacation...

So for the past three weeks I've been back in the US. First in North Carolina where I stayed in Sanford with my very disgruntal sister for the majority of the time. Although I had every intention on coming back to the States when semester one had finished, I only made the trip out to North Carolina first because my best friend was getting married, and she had asked me to be a bridesmaid (note: even if she HADN'T asked me to be in the wedding, the simple fact that she is my best friend means I would have made the trip out...that and I'm in love with the groom ;-) Just kidding...) Anyway, so from the very first day in NC I was reminded of all the reasons I hated it for the nine miserable years I spent there before: it was ridiculously hot, humid, and...worst of all...country. I've never taken a shine to much-too-cocky-rednecks waltzing around in there cowboy boots. I mean seriously people...move to Texas...at least there you don't look as much like a...nevermind. Moving on. As you can no doubt tell I have zero love for the eastern part of the country, but not all was bad. I was able to see Drew, Phil and Joe, friends from high school with whom I have all but lost contact...occasionally there would be a random Facebook message, but generally I knew nothing of them. And then of course there was Ms. Carlee Macon's wedding, which was absolutely fabulous.

On July 4th we were all in Charlotte (perhaps the one exception to my hate for the south) for the Bachelorette party. Drinks in the hotel, followed by dinner and drinks, followed by the best bar in Charlotte to have a bachelorette party and drinks. It was great fun from beginning 'til end. It was the first time in six months I had seen my lovelies Lauren, Char'Lee and DeAnna, so it was a great reunion (the only reason I had seen Carlee before was because she picked me up from the airport when my own family came up with every excuse not to). The weekend following was the main event. We all (the bridesmaids) spent the night at the location where we made an attempt to finish off some of the left over rehearsal dinner wine...didn't happen as we switched to Sweet Tea Vodka and Lemonaide instead...great combination...(I had no idea it existed until this return visit). Saturday we set up and got ready, shielding with all our might the fact that it was raining from Carlee. Fortunately right before pictures it stopped and sky broke open with sun, only a gift from the Lord. Our hair all done, pictures taken, we broke open a bottle of wine to toast the beautiful bride and walked the isle...or the grassy patch between the rows of seats. She picked a gorgeous location for an outside wedding, and fortunately that day the rain had cooled the temps. The ceremony lasted a good 20 minutes followed by more pictures, more wine, food, cake and then dancing. I caught the bouquet again...I need to stop doing that or I'll end up...well you know. I saw the Marshbanks at the wedding, the couple that gave me my scholarship to attend Mars Hill. It was great being able to see them again, as they were unable to make it out for my graduation.

Monday after the wedding, I left super early in the morning for California. I woke up at 2:30 am (after only going to sleep at 1am) to get to the airport by 4. My flight left at 6am. All was going well until our unfortunate delay in Texas due to mechanical problems...finally an hour and a half behind schedule I landed in sunny Southern California to be greeted by my mommy. Oh how I have missed this place...and then, not. I was once again in awe of the grandness of the highways and the ridiculous amount of money poured into buildings, but a part of me never came home with me when I left Costa Rica and although I'm home...I'm not. Arnold, my big red Blazer is out of order, so I've been sans vehicle all week, but Mom has been coming home early at lunch time so we've been going out shopping and running errands, buying things for my apartment in Costa Rica. On Saturday we took a trip to the Queen Mary, a retired Cruise Liner and toured that for a few hours. It could quite possibly be my only look at a cruise ship for a few years...maybe until my honeymoon when current chances are that my future husband kills me. Sorry, morbid moment.

Anyway, all that being said. I really enjoyed church this morning as I saw all the people I haven't seen in six months. It felt like I had never left, minus having to answer "So how's Costa Rica?" every five minutes. I actually miss the guys there...not that I'd EVER admit that to them ;-)...well not seriously anyway...

To top off the ridiculous contradiction that is my life, sitting here thinking that in one week I will once again be in Central America makes me oddly sad. I have an excelent opportunity now to sell Arnold and buy my Mazda 3, but chances of having this same opportunity in December of 2010 are slim to none. Leaving Mom and my dogs is always hard...they always unknowingly make me second guess my study abroad decisions. But when it comes down to it I think, I only have three semesters left. Yes semester one was hard. Yes it dragged on and on. Yes Saturday at 7am classes are zero fun, but where else can I get a Master's education for a little more than $500 a semester? No where. So I'll suck it up again. Go back down. Kick ass at semester numero dos, and come back in December for another visit home and then another maybe-I-should-just-stay-here-and-finish-up-at-CS San Diego second guessing-myself-session.
P.S. Don't you love how in English we can make adjectives by stringing together a bunch of normal words??? I do...until I have to translate them :-S