10 Reasons Why I Shall Play The Lottery...

What dreams may come...

It's all over the news. The Mega Millions lottery, played in 42 states across America, has hit its all-time high jackpot, and nobody has won yet! I believe a side effect of talking about the lottery is talking about what you would do if you were to win the lottery. I'd buy a boat! I'd buy a plane! I'd travel! Right?

I am not a gambling person. I may have spent a total of $20 dollars the last time I was in Vegas and what did I have to show for it? Nada. But $540 million? I mean that's a game changer. So after a couple of hours spent day-dreaming, I finally convinced myself to take the plunge. Here's why:

1. Because somebody's got to win. And so why couldn't it be me? I mean, I pay my taxes. I'm a legal resident of the United States, a citizen now at that. I'm over 18 AND I'm not blowing much needed money on a ticket when I have a family to feed. I mean, I'm the perfect recipient, right? Right.

2. Because as much as I complain about being plagued by bad luck, I'm really not that unlucky. I may be a freckly redhead, but I am not Irish. And as such I've always considered myself to be very unlucky. But when looking back at what I have in my life, I've truly been blessed. I have an amazingly supportive family. The best Mom in the world. A boyfriend who truly adores me. Two great father figures who have been there through the years. A job. A car. Extra cash. Food. A roof over my head. I mean, I'm lucky. So, why not be lucky enough to win?

3. Because I'm not greedy. I don't have to win the $540 million to feel like I've accomplished my goal. Seriously, I'll be happy with the second place $250,000 prize! Although $540 million would go a lot further...

4. Because day-dreaming about what to do with $540 million is really quite a lot of fun.


5. Because I made the commitment to myself (and to God if He lets me win, and now to you) to donate AT LEAST 10% of my winnings to churches and charities that I support. I've noticed over the last few years that I really am quite generous when it comes to money. Whenever I get an exceptionally large paycheck, I always treat those around me to something special. Dinner, a show. Whatever. And I don't see winning the lottery as being any different. I may not even be able to stop with 10% when I think about how many deserving charities there are.

6. Because you can't win the money if you don't purchase a ticket. Well, technically you could win if you happened to come across the winning ticket discarded on the sidewalk, but the chances of that happening are even less, I'm sure, than if you bought a ticket.

My most prized winning...

7. Because forking over $1 to win $540 million really is the ultimate gamble. In what other game do you have the opportunity of winning 540,000,000 times what you bet?

8. Because I deserve to win something, dammit! The only thing in my life I can ever remember winning was a pink Duracell buddy that marched around the room to the beat of its own drum. Literally. And even that was rigged, I'm sure, because how else would my brother, sister, and I all have won one? Three in one household? Is that even legal? Even in high school at our graduation party when prizes were aplenty and our odds of winning were about 1 to 0.5, I was one of about FIVE people who didn't win anything.

9. Because I've already figured out what I'll be spending my 1st installment on. And yes, I would take it in equal monthly installments for 26 years. I'm young. I have the time. My first order of business would be buying a fancy red Audi A4 for me. Then new cars for everyone in my family. Then a super vacation to a place-yet-to-be-determined at some exotic corner of the world with my fantastic boyfriend. And of course the 10% I'll give to charity. On the other hand, I could always take the cash value and in that case, well, I'd do the same...

10. Because, well, I support education and it is an education lottery, after all. 

Oh wait... how do you play the Mega Millions?

What Is A Blog If Not To Vent?

Sometimes I wonder, when I talk do people actually hear what I say, or do they just pretend to understand while misconstruing my words to go along with the fantasy world they've created in their head?

The fact that I agree with a person one time, does not make us best friends. And it does not mean I will have their back every time. It means they still have to listen to the words that come out of my mouth and relay them to a third party exactly or I will set them straight. I apologize if they thought otherwise.

No wait, I don't apologize. It was their mistake.

I was recently chastised at work for having an attitude towards one of my superiors and instead of trying to deny it, I admitted to it openly and out loud, holding nothing back. I mean, how could you NOT have an attitude towards a person who comes to you to clear up any issue and then later calls you "just the translator".

Just the translator? If it weren't for me buddy, you wouldn't have your job since your job entails editing my translations. And if I am just the editor, then why do you come to me when you're not sure of "how we say something in Spanish"? Last time I checked, you were the native Spanish speaker, shouldn't you know how it is said in your native language?

I think I've gotten a bit off track here. It's just all this has been bubbling to the surface lately. It is one thing after the next after the next.

My editor, for example, takes credit with the boss for something I pointed out to him! Then, when I mention it to my copy-editor she says "I know I saw that. We pointed it out to him and he takes the credit!" I'm like, "we?" There was no 'we' in the pointing out that had taken place. It was me. Me, myself, and I and then she goes to the boss to point out that we had mentioned it to him. UGH!

But then again, I'm just the translator so what I say doesn't matter.

Point in case número dos:

My copy-editor: "Can you point out that thing to me that was missing that we told him about." (I told him about)
Me: "It was here, but I really think the client changed it later because there is no way all three of us missed it three times."
My copy-editor: "So what you're saying is, he missed it on the final version they sent. Have you looked?"
Me: "No, I haven't looked but I'm 100% positive they added it later because there is no way all three of us missed it."
My copy-editor: "So what you're saying is..."
Me: "NO, LISTEN TO MY WORDS. IT WASN'T THERE! HE COULDN'T MISS SOMETHING THAT WASN'T THERE TO BEGIN WITH!"

I saw this image on Pinterest the other day and I thought, how freakin' true. There is a fine line between tattling and reporting an incident, and here, in the soap opera that is the Hispanic Task Force where I work, tattling has become a common occurrence. And I say "tattling" because the only reason for the "reporting of events to the bosses" is to make the other person look bad. Am I working with a bunch of kindergardeners?

About a week ago I was talking to a good friend of mine during lunch. I was in an extremely foul mood because of something someone else had done and it had just ruined my entire day. In fact, it happened on my drive to work that morning when all the morons of the world decided to drive the streets of Greensboro.

My friend said: "Why do you let it get to you all day? You can't change what they did, don't let it ruin your good mood."

Since that day, I've made an effort to blow things off and keep chipper. I have an urge to blow up in the car and I say to myself (out loud, yes, I talk to myself in the car) "It doesn't matter. It's not important. It's a beautiful day, the sun is shining, just let it go." And it has worked, surprisingly.

But somethings are just too big to blow off and something must be said. I refuse to be just another tattle, and run to tell the boss all the s$%* that is happened here, but I'm reaching the edge of my patience. I won't survive long here, that I'm quite sure of, now to just figure out how to get through the next day.

Signs You've Watched Too Much NCIS

Last night I had a dream. I always dream and I generally remember my dreams, and recently my dreams have been super vivid, but last night's took the cake, literally.

I am driving down the road in a car that is not mine, although in my dream it is. There is a guy in the passenger seat. The road, I'm sure, was a road close to where I grew up in South Africa, although I can't really place it given how long ago that was now. But this is not important. Somewhere close to me is a big black SUV, one of those government types that have no markings but are extremely intimidating.

I make a U-Turn at the light and the black SUV puts on its lights and follows me. Obviously, I begin worrying, but I keep telling my passenger, all macho-like, that the U-Turn was legal, there was no sign there that prohibited U-Turns etc. So I keep driving and come to another light. The SUV pulls up along side me, stopps, looks over at me, then speeds off.

Thinking nothing of it, I drive home, alone, which turns out to be a mansion I'd never seen filled with... nothing. Had I just moved in? I go upstairs to plug in my phone and when I look out the window, there were dozens of black SUVs and sedans littering the yard, front and back, and all the men standing around them are wearing jackets and vests with the FBI logo.

I try to send a text to the person who was in the car with me, no idea who it was, but in the place on the phone were the signal bars should be, there is a frog with an X over it, and in my dream I know that meant they had blocked my cell signal. So, obviously, I'm confused. I'm at home alone, I've done nothing more than a legal U-Turn, and here my house is surrounded by dozens of FBI agents.

The doorbell rings.

I slowly walk down the stairs to open it and, low and behold, there stands Special Agent Gibbs, all quiet and serious looking, backed by other agents I've never seen.

Immediately I start claiming I had made a legal U-Turn, that there had been no indication that it wasn't allowed there. Gibbs, in his usual demeanor, says, "Do you really think we're here about a U-Turn?"

No, obviously not.

I know this sentence is going to be extremely anti-climatic, but I really can't remember why they were there. I remember something about a murder, but from there, I don't remember my response or how I managed to convince them I had nothing to do with it. I just know I had because...

My dream ended with one of the female agents baking me chocolate cupcakes with strawberry icing and sprinkles in my kitchen, while Gibbs and I had a laugh about the good old days.

Funny thing is, I used to detest NCIS. I found it boring. On Wednesday nights when my parents would watch it (they Ti-Voed it to watch without commercials), I would be in my room watching whatever else is on. But then I moved out on my own, and almost every evening between 5 and 8 or 9 USA has an NCIS marathon, right when I get home from work, and now... I'm hooked! So much, in fact, that I even dream of Agent Gibbs.

What has my life come to?