Opportunities...

On Thursday I read a quote my Michelle Williams cited in a magazine published, as life would have it, by the very same company that just that day offered me the position of a lifetime, the type of position any recent graduate would dream of. The quote says, "I don't believe that life is linear. I think of it as circles - concentric circles that connect." And now, just days away from turning 26, my life truly has come full circle. A circle that consisted of 12 odd years, 5 different homes, visits to 7 different countries, learning another language, sweat, tears, excrucating pain and indescribable joy, friendship, and recently, love. These are the 12 years that my family has been living in the United States: 5 years of high school, 4 years of college, 2 years of grad school and time in between. For 9 of those years I lived in North Carolina; for about 8 of those I was itching to leave, dreaming of my life in a perpetually warm climate. Now, however, after 3 years spent in continuous summer, the good Lord has found it in his will, it seems, to send me back to where i couldn't wait to leave to begin with, with an opportunity for work I'd be an idiot to turn down. Just when my future was sitting at the crossroads of "Bleak" and "Utterly Depressing" I found an alternate route that has turned my world up-side-down. Life is ironic. After the job offer, I was left having to make a decision that was 100 times harder than any other I've made in my entire life. Do I pack up my life for the 6th time in 12 years, leaving behind family, new friends, my dog, and venture out into the world alone, again? Maybe 'alone' isn't fair. This time I'll just be leaving one family to be closer to another, and closer physically yet surely further away emotionally from love. What would life be, though, without its twists? And what would my life be without its hard decisions? The way I see it, the Lord has blessed me with the ability to adapt to my present needs or situation, to thrive there for a time, but then to always find my way back to the loving comfort only my home and family can provide.

Maybe moving back to North Carolina is just the next stepping stone towards the future I set out for myself and that, hopefully, is in God's plans for me.

I'm not without my fears. In fact, this time I'm petrified. But what's that they say about overcoming a fear? Tackle it head on. Maybe I just will.

The social networking era...

Ok, so I've come to a conclusion: there are entirely too many social networking sites to keep up with these days. There's Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn... and not to mention the forgotten Myspace (does it still exist?), and High5, and some new one called QuePasa or something of the sort. And then there is Blogger and Wordpress and... my head is spinning. I swear we spend more time updating our pages and stalking our friends (well, anyone for that matter) than we do actually talking to them. Having a face to face conversation, or at least one over the phone, is old school. Why even have a cellphone anymore, when you can just Facebook them???

I mean I do it to. Today I wrote on a friend's wall how I missed her. She wrote back seconds later that we should talk and catch up and that weeks ago she had sent me a message, which I had failed (oops) to reply to. And instead of calling her right then and there when I obviously wasn't doing anything at the time, and let's face it, she wasn't either if she was checking Facebook, I found her weeks old message and replied. Viola, we've caught up.... not exactly.

Truth is, even thinking about talking on the phone these days is a drag. Of course part of my problem is the whole 3 hour time difference between me and practically all of my friends. I admit I cannot count how many times I have looked at my ringing phone and just ignored the call instead of answering (I promise I haven't done it to you...). Truth is Facebook is convenient - I'll answer when I have the time, or when I feel like it, or when there is actually something to report.

So what all started my head spinning really, was that fact that recently I have started searching for new ways to join the job market. A traditional resume is not cutting it these days so I've made a website and professional blog to help move the process along. I even joined LinkedIn. So now I spend hours a day, checking three different email addresses, two social networks, two blogs, and a personal website. Its a wonder I even have time to do work... oh wait, I don't have one...

For those interested my website is: www.translationsdk.com

Professional blog: dktranslations.wordpress.com

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On the job hunt...

So... the job hunt is well under way and I can really only comment one thing: where are all the jobs? Isn't America the land of opportunity? So WHERE are the opportunities? What ever happened to the American dream, with a great 9-5er and the white picket fence? Is it not time for the economic crisis to be OVER already?

As I'm sure you've guessed, I have come up empty-handed. My daily search of sites such as Monster.com, Careerbuilder.com, Craigslist.com, and ProZ.com have offered nothing more than a sinking feeling in my stomach everytime I see the "no matching job postings" glaring back at me like a bright red Do not enter sign. In my close to three weeks of searching I have had ONE blinking interview, which in all reality was a no-go before I even arrived at the office. I mean driving 40 miles each morning through "lovely" LA traffic for a job that at best in the same industry as what I plan to do permanently, and then driving another 40 miles home down the 405 into the heart of the 5 South/91 West traffic, well, I had a momentary lapse of judgement, that's all.

Truthfully, its disheartening waking up each morning and browsing through the lack of new job postings online. I knew it would never be easy, there are entirely too many (non-qualified) translators in the industry, but I guess I hadn't really prepared myself for the complete void that I now find in the job sector. In-house translator positions are not very common place in the States it would seem, and turning an established Language Service Provider away from their go-to Spanish translator is no easy feat, I would venture to say, even impossible. I know this because I worked in an LSP and I saw how hard it was for a beginning translator to get any work.

I guess as with everything, experience gets you what you want, but how do we get experience if no one will take a chance on a recent graduate? How do I get experience without work?

Here we go again...

Happy New Year... blaaaaaaah blah blah

I don't know why it is, but I swear I'm more cynical this time of year. When it comes down to it, I really quite despise the start of a new year. I mean just think... we have another whole 12 months to go before we reach the end of what could turn out to be a terrible year... or a great year... either way we will either want it to end sooner than that planned by God or we'll want it to last, which it will never do either. For instance, I would have liked last year to last another, oh forever... but it didn't, which was really kind of disappointing. Of course the new year brings new opportunities, new year's resolutions, a new you, but weren't there plenty of abandoned or unseized opportunities last year? Won't this year's resolutions die before the end of January anyway? Won't I resort back to the same person I was just a few miserable moments ago. That's the problem with change: when we want it, it very rarely lasts; when we don't want it, it's permanent.

On a brighter note though, I do have things to be thankful for. I'm back in the US with my family, although the job market here looks VERY scarce and I'm already bored after just a week. (If anyone in Southern Cali knows of a need for a Spanish translator PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU CALL ME!) I made it though immigration with absolutely NO problem this time! Now for those of you who read my rant about the US immigration posted about 6 months ago, you'll know this was quite a blessing. I guess it pays 1. to go to a guy and 2. be prepared but mainly 1. go to a guy. Hell, even after landing at LAX at 11:05 pm on New Years Eve, miraculously I was able to make it through immigration, collect my bags, pass customs AND get to the car with Mommy and Brondt just in time to wish them a "happy" New Year. I suppose that really IS something to be thankful for considering how long I had been DREADING the reencounter with LAX immigration.

Today I was asked by a lady in Barnes and Noble, as I was browsing the Christian Help section: "If someone tried to kill you and now that someone is in prison and you were going to visit her, which book would you take?" I guess I have that to be thankful for too: no one has tried to kill me. I recommended the daily devotional on how to be a better woman of God.

Of course now that the new year is well under way there is no point in wishing I were still in 2010. I can only embrase what memories I have from before and hope I chance upon them or something similar this year. And I sincerely hope, that at the end of it, I no longer have to wait any longer to be with mi amor.

Counting down my top 10 of 2010...

As the end of the year is fast approaching (and by fast I mean its already here), and as I'm getting ready to once again make a huge move that will determine the rest of my life, I took a few minutes to reminisce through the past year: the good, the bad, and the terribly ugly. Surprisingly, I came through a winner. I'm ridiculously happy and for once I'm seeing the glass half full, even as I'm only 15 hours away from walking out of love, life, and everything I've known for the past two years. Generally I would say the year was plagued by bad luck, and it seemed that 2010 would be no different when I was stopped by the highway patrol on the 1st of January on my way back from spending New Years in Vegas with my little sister, only to be given a $300 fine for speeding... but the rest of 2010 turned out quite differently. Below are my top 10 moments of 2010:

10: I took a stab at learning French. Ok, so in the end it turned out that I despise French, learned nothing, and have zero desire to ever try it again, it was still exciting in the beginning feeling the rush again of learning a new language.

9: I improved my tennis game. I have always loved watching and playing tennis. I have memories of my brother and I playing (badly) in the courts across the street from my first house in South Africa, or against the garage wall in my third house, when I pretended I was Steffi Graf. I remember after moving to the US on Fridays Mom would take us to a court to hit around for a while. I never took lessons though, and I got into the habit of hitting awkwardly and not following through. This year, thanks to someone very special, I improved leaps and bounds and even began competing towards the end of the year.

8. I turned 25. I had an absolute blast dancing at my birthday party and this age just seems perfect to me. I have finished so many of the things I wanted to accomplish in my life, and having finally finished studying 25 seems like the perfect age to start thinking about settling down. Not too young, and definitely not old. Unfortunately I have to turn 26 in only 3 months lol.

7. I strenghened my relationship with God. I have a bad habit when I live in Costa Rica of not going to church, or going just to go but not really fitting in or enjoying it. This year though, God brought me back to him and I can't be happier or feel better about where I am spiritually.

6. Mommy came to visit me. Costa Rica holds a major piece of my heart, it always will. But I'm a mommy's girl and always will be, and having my two loves in the same place for the first time in three years made me the happiest person alive. Of course after Mommy left, I missed her so much more than I did before she came...

5. I graduated with a Master's Degree in Translation. Ok, TECHNICALLY I haven't graduated YET, if you consider graduating walking across a stage and received a physical copy of the diploma, but I finished the course, paid the fees, took the oath and have nothing left to be but await the day they print the piece of paper and deliver it. Ergo, I am graduated. And just like graduating from Mars Hill, it was bittersweet.

4. I visited Nicaragua. I am a born traveler. Since I have memories, I remember traveling to Europe, South America, Australia, Asia, America, and having the opportunity this year of visiting a place I hadn't been to before, learning the culture and meeting the people is an experience I wouldn't trade for anything.

3. I fell in love. Who would have thought? Somehow one got through, and not only do I love him, but I'm crazy in love. The good thing is, in my 25 years I never knew what I was missing out on. Love changes a person for the better, and I still thank the Lord every night for the amazing person he brought to me this year.

2. I presented my thesis. This is number two above graduation because for three semesters I worked my butt off on my thesis. I experienced a stress I wouldn't wish on anyone, and at one point even considered giving up and moving back to the US without finishing. The time a thesis takes is equivalent to a full time job, added on top of three other Master degree level courses, no wonder I was exhausted at the end of each day. The presentation itself was a rush. I got to show off what I had spent a year and a half writing. It has to be similar to the rush one gets bungee jumping. And when it was over... I wanted to cry. A weight lifted off my shoulders and I could breath and stand up straight. Sadly though, it was also anti-climatic. I had spent so much time on it, that when I no longer had to work on it, I had no idea what to do with my time. It is still one of the best experiences I have had though, and thus my number two for this year.

1. I met Rolando Rojas. The Lord blessed me incredibly the day I met my Rolito and despite the fact that a few times I almost messed up the relationship we have come to have with my stupidity, selfishness, ungratefulness, etc., I can really only thank God for giving him patience and a desire to fight for me. Because of him I was able to do almost everything else on the list I have just posted and I honestly can't imagine my life without him. Just meeting him was the best thing that happened to be in 2010 and I hope with all my heart, that I never ever forget the impact he has had on my life, and that that impact never has to end.

♥

Happy New Year everyone! I hope that 2011 is filled with even more good luck than that which I experienced in 2010.

Moving day...

Today is moving day. Moving day #1, that is... and despite waking up very early (7:30am) and getting started almost immediately, I am only now finishing up. The clock says 5:24 pm. That means it took me a little less than 10 hours to pack up the life I had made for myself here in a year and a half. Would you say that is a lot, or a little?

As I'm sitting here now waiting for the owners to show up to look at the apartment and return my deposit, it feels so normal to me to be moving. Maybe the fact that I still have 2 weeks left here makes it that I don't feel sad, I mean I'm not leaving yet, I'm just moving house. And I'm ready to leave the apartment. For the past couple of months it has been nothing but noisy neighbors and now looking out of my door I have a view of a lovely cellphone tower that if I stretched my arm just a little farther than normal could quite literally touch. Ok, that's a slight exaggeration, but it is literally in my backyard.

But like I say, this is only move number 1. In 14 days I get to make move #2... and I'm not so sure its going to go as well as this one...

A little pessimism from a pessimist...

So the end is nigh (yes, I just said nigh) and it puts me in a very weird mood. Almost surreal... and bittersweet. It feels like there is no end, and yet I have to pack and go through 4 semesters of saved papers and homework. I'm going through the motions of yet again packing up my life and yet in the moment I feel like I'm doing it for no particular purpose at all. And then there are days when I wake up sad and spend 70% of my waking hours with tears in my eyes or streaming down my face. When I can't even think about, let alone look at, certain people because I end up using an entire roll of toilet paper just trying to make the waterworks stop. And then there are days, like today, when it all feels like a total reality. I'm packing up just like I did in January of 1999 to move to the United States, or in July of 2004 to move to Mars Hill. I'm sorting through homework and books just like I did in May 2008 when I left Mars Hill and moved to California. Funny, moving from California to Costa Rica never produced that 'I'm moving again and leaving people behind' feeling in me. And now, once again, I'm moving, and this time it really hurts, because I know this could be the end. This could be the last time I get to pack up and move on a whim. This is the last time I get to study anything (other than a doctorate... or another masters). This is when I have to grow up, fast, get a job, make a life, and begin the monotonous 8-5, 8-5, 8-5.

We spend our whole lives in school waiting for the day we finally get out and can be our own people, and then we find ourselves wasting away behind a computer at a desk that isn't ours, in an office that we didn't pay for, under a boss who we inevitably despise. And that to us is living?

I guess you can say that I woke up cynical today. Or maybe that just comes from a pessimistic personality. I should be excited to begin a new chapter in my life: no more homework; I can actually CHARGE for my translations now. And yet, the only thing I can think about, is having to leave behind people who have grown into family, knowing that in all probablility, in a year's time we will no longer have that relationship, and also leaving behind the one guy who was able to make an optimist out of a pessimist. The worst part of all is knowing that the time apart is going to be indefinite. And honestly, how many can say they know of a long distance relationship that worked out in the end? Seriuosly, if you do I'd like to hear stories! haha