A love/hate relationship...

Yesterday, semester three of my four semester Masters program came to an end. I turned in the first final draft of my thesis, took the most pointless final exam I have ever had to endure, and when I put my pen away and stood up to leave, a wave of... disappointment washed over me. 'But why disappointment?' you may ask yourself. The answer isn't clear to me either. I have had one of the most stressful semesters to date. It had been long and boring, and to some degree, I felt it was even a useless semester. But finishing it means a year and a half has gone by and I only have six months left. How do I ever pack my life up (once again) and move away from the people I have grown to love with all my heart. And yet, the answer is simple. Just do it. I did it before, after graduation at Mars Hill, I did it when I moved down here in January of 2009, and I can will do it again because that is what I do. That is what is expected of me. I will leave with a part less of me though, a part that will forever stay in Costa Rica.

Of course, the hardest semester of all still lies ahead of me, and the scariest thought of them all: presenting and defending my thesis. I in no way regret deciding to come down here to do my Masters, even though this presentation will be in Spanish. I am grateful for my two years here and for the opportunity I have had to perfect my grasp of the language more than I would have done in a program in the U.S., and believe it or not, I have come to love Spanish even more than I did to begin with. That being said, it's all sunshine and summertime. Below and the five things I dislike most about language and the five things I love about it:

5 things I HATE about Español:

5. The me gusta and me encanta constructions. Sure, saying me gusta el cafecito comes as naturally as saying 'I like coffee' in English, but when it comes to saying, for example, 'you don't like me' my mind still automatically wants to say no me gustas which actually would be 'I don't like you' quite the opposite of my actual intention.

4. The difference between este/esta and ese/esa. This equates to the same difference of 'this/that' in English, which as a native speakers comes naturally, but try getting it right right off the bat in a foreign language is impossible. It is further complicated by the fact that it is gender specific and a neutral eso/esto doesn't always work.

3. The difference in the pronunciation of 'rr' and 'r'. This really applies more to the Costa Rican way of pronouncing 'rr' rather than the general pronunciation in which one rolls the tongue for a second to add extra emphasis to the double r. I can do that perfectly fine, but in Costa Rica the sound is more of a vibration than an actual roll and for a native English speaker with no similar sound in our language, sometimes I could out sounding just that: a gringa speaking Spanish. I hate it.

2. Gender specific words. Why can't all objects be neutral like in English? It makes learning the name of the object 100x easier. Words that end in 'o' or 'a' are not the problem, its the words that end in 'a' but are actually masculine, or words that end in consonants like 'l' and 'n' which, unless you already know the gender, can't really be guessed. And then there is the distinction between the same word which has both masculine and feminine forms which mean two completely different things, or when adjectives, pronouns, determinants etc., all have to agree with the gender of the noun. It makes life for an English speaker very difficult.

1. The subjunctive tense. The only example we have of this in English is the 'if I were' construction, however, in Spanish it is used for a million different reasons that to a Spanish as a second language student are impossible to get right all the time. Luckily though, getting it wrong doesn't change the meaning of a sentence or impede its understanding, it just simply isn't right.

All the above are cancelled out though by my love for the language, especially the following

5 things I LOVE about Español:

5. Pronunciation = spelling. And visa versa. Looking at an unfamiliar Spanish word one can pronounce it correctly by simple pronouncing each letter individually. An 'i' is always pronounced the same as is 'a', 'e', 'o', and 'u'. Much easier than in English.

4. Noun constructions. If you ever don't know the name of an object thing about its function and bam! 9 times out of 10 you can guess its name. Matamoscas, for example, literally means 'fly killer' or juntabolas means 'ball gatherer'.

3. Diminuitives. English is really lacking in this fabulous way to easily show the difference between a rather large object (add -ote at the end of a noun) or a really small object (add -ito). Not only does it give an idea of the size but it always has affective meaning. It shows the speakers feelings to an object. Diminuitives is just a very caring way to describe an object.

2. The difference between te quiero and te amo. Both mean 'I love you' just with different intensity. Amo a my parents, or the guy I will one day be in love with, but quiero a my best friend or the guy I like, etc.

1. Spanish speaking Latino men. The dark hair, tanned skin, coffee coloured eyes... Anyone that knows me knows my obsession for what I have just described. Being here has not changed that in the least, rather one could say it has solidified that obsession. Sure I find the occasional blue-eyed, blonde-haired European attractive, but I'd take a dark-featured Latino over him any day.